Sigh.

Still being disappointed with myself. Partialled after First break with Shermaine and Shujun. Haven't been having 3some for quite some time. Consulted alot, and eventually I still choose my parents over him. This doesn't mean that my love for him isn't deep enough. I still love him as much, I can say he's the first guy I committed so much for. So much to the extend if you want me to marry him now I would. Nothing could explain how much struggles I'm having now. I won't cry infront of my parents, prolly at night still...this couldn't be helped. But I am trying to let go of everything. Maybe time could heal everything? Shall try to be as positive as possible for now.

8.19pm.

Scared the hell outta me, I thought something happened to him. His mum called me to ask if he'd contact me for the whole day. Need to search through all facebook for his camp friend's number so I can call them to ask if they'd booked out. Lucky, thank god. Not that he's playing mia, just that they haven't booked out. Infact, his mum asked me about both of us, Idk how to reply her. I told her to ask his son instead. Really wish both son and mother can have better relationship with each other, that's my wish for both of them..

Alright, shall not think anymore least my emotional level gets lower.....